There’s Life After San Jose…
Ronald Rolheiser is one of the greatest spiritual writers of his time. In his book, The Holy Longing, I was particularly struck by his idea on the Spirituality of the Paschal Mystery and I’d like to quote the last part of chapter 7 (Which he also quoted from John Shea):
Mary Magdala meets the resurrected Jesus. Initially, she does not know who he is and she supposes him to be the gardener, but immediately upon recognizing him, she tries to throw her arms around him. Jesus, for his part, tells her: “Mary, do not cling to me!”
What lies behind Jesus’ reluctance to let Mary touch him? Mary Magdala herself, had we ever found her gospel, would I suspect, explain it this way:
I never suspected
Resurrection
And to be so painful
To leave me weeping
With joy
To have met you, alive and smiling, outside an empty tomb
With regret
Not because I’ve lost you
But because I’ve lost you in how I had you—
In understandable, touchable, kissable, “clingable” flesh
Not as fully Lord, but as graspably human
I want to cling, despite your protest
cling to your body
cling to what we had, our past
But I know that…if I cling
You cannot ascend and
I will be left clinging to your former self
…unable to receive your present spirit.
I decided to leave San Jose Seminary this day. It’s not that my presence is already unwanted or my flight back to Iloilo will be tomorrow or the day after next. It’s just that the more I stay there, the more I am being tormented by my pain of separation.
The seminary has been my home for quite sometime. This is where I grew up and came to grapple with so many realities in life. This is where I experienced genuine friendship and communion; not only with my fellow brothers in the community but with the people I served in our apostolate. This is where I can truly be myself because these people have taught me how to be authentic…constantly showing me fraternal concern and love. Hence, I am confident enough to say that this place didn’t hide anything from me for I was told the truth- the truth about God, myself and others.
At times, it’s painful to let go of something that has become so customary for me. Parting is never easy at this very moment. The fact that I have to go home to my diocese and start a new life again is an excruciating task. It’s rather simple to give in to my comfort zones and stay with people whom I have been familiar with in the past five years. But then, I am confronted by the fact that life is a journey and the more I cut short my succeeding steps…the more I look back to those I will leave behind, the less I grow. It has always been a recurring transition on my part and sometimes, I would nag the Lord that he would let me stay in one place. I have told him many, many times that I am afraid of change…that I dread the future because of the pain and the uncertainty it brings. Yet, he would often tell me, “DO NOT CLING TO THESE THINGS…You will never get to enjoy my promises if you keep on embracing your emotional attachments….your damn good yesterdays that keep you from facing your hopeful tomorrow…."
In my anguish…
I keep on affirming,
Amidst the constant hellos and goodbyes,
That parting can really leave a deep wound in my heart
An insufferable pain
Which keeps on crippling my human spirit
At times, I’d rather stay in my nostalgia
Because I am too afraid to see my loved ones go
And utterly witness their transformation over time
That is why I hate the relentless transitions of my existence
And I always tell my friends, “Please don’t ever change!”
Yet, it would rather be unfair on their part
Inasmuch as I would want them to stay the same
The delightful, endearing, jovial, valuable friends
Who have taught me a lot on life and love
I just have to let go
Allowing them to move on with their new lives too
All that’s left for me are the memories
The tears that well from our eyes
After a hard laugh
Or an intense sorrow over our losses
The lazy afternoons where we used to gather and share even our deepest thoughts
…Over a cup of coffee or an ice-cold juice
The hugs, the comforting words, the assurance
In times when I had given up my hope
…Because of life’s eventual tragedies
The smiles, the cheers, the laughs
The funny things we did to beat the monotony
Nevertheless, these are just blue prints…a binding proof
Of how much I was loved…and how I loved in return
They may leave an indelible mark in my heart
But I cannot bring them back anymore
…The way I wanted them to be
Two days from now, I will be home for good…but part of me is holding on to the things I will be leaving in San Jose Seminary. “Sometimes, I can’t stop myself from hoping for yesterday to comeback especially when yesterday was the only future I ever wanted and needed from the start”, yet life must go on. It’s nice to confine myself with what I have been used to but I am also aware that there are a lot of people in the City of Love who are waiting for my heart…and it would be wrong to deprive them of that care and affection I gave to the place I called “home” for five long years.
The challenge for me at this very moment is to open up my human core again and perhaps undergo the usual process of loving and losing. Napakalawak ng saklaw ng pag-ibig at ang kawalan ay isa lamang sa mga aspeto nito…I think I will learn more from its unfathomable mystery. No wonder, love is coupled with forever…
I just have to let go and move on for a promise of a better future awaits me. I am optimistic that in God’s time, I will be fully healed from my emotional baggages.
There’ life after San Jose Seminary…
Uncategorized | Comments (2)Lost In Vigan
Lost In Vigan…
Being lost here does not mean that I’m off-course or disoriented…I’d like to believe that I’m enchanted, enthralled, mesmerized, captivated and awestruck by a city where I can have the best of both worlds- the old and the new, the familiar and the unseen, the comprehensible and the mystifying…
A tribute to my three-day trip to the magnificent Ilocos Region…
Partas Station, Cubao…Stop-over at La-Union (and its raining hard on a summer day!)…Day Break at Plaza Salcedo (getting familar with the place, lots of photo ops!)…St. Paul Cathedral…The Hospitality of Serbania-Cambe Family…Mouth-watering Vigan Longganisa for breakfast…Arzobispado…Gov. Singson’s Airconditioned Bus…"Tobacco Road"…Paoay Church…Cape Bojeador Lighthouse (Mga Lalake sa Parola,hehehe)…Marcos Museum in Batac…Wind Turbines at Bangui (Nasa Pilipinas ba ako? It’s like being placed in a different portal)…Swimming at Pagudpod (Probably the best sunset I have witnessed in my entire lifetime!)…Laoag City…Golden Cow Restaurant (Love the Pinakbet!)…Puka Shell Anklet…Halo-Halo sa Labasan ng Resort…Thanksgiving Mass of Fr. Don (Ilonggong Nag-I-Ilocano? I know it’s a struggle of pronunciation, diction and accentuation…malumanay versus maragsa…but, WHY NOT?hehehe)…St. Paul Cathedral Museum…Burgos Museum (Family Portrait…The Family of Levites)…Pagburnayan…Heritage Village (Bought a Black Vigan Tee)…Classic Bahay na Bato (Gave me chills! Am I in the Spanish Times?)…Baluarte (Camel, Ostrich, Deer, Tiger, Cackatoo, Macau, Pygmy Horse)…Empanada ng Batac at Vigan (Sorry, but I can’t make a comparison…pareho silang masarap! Too bad wasn’t able to taste the Ukoy)…Bagnet…Sinanglaw (They say that this is a must try but I never had the guts to taste even the soup because it is made of Beef innards and I don’t eat Beef)…Immaculate Conception Minor Seminary…San Mig Lights!…Good Times with fellow Josefinos (Sigh, I will surely miss them…)…Juan Luna Shrine…Lunch at Chowking,____? (Forgot the name of the place)…BANAY Jokes! (Ayoko talagang mahawa..hehehe)…Malacanang of the North…Fresh Buko!…Fort Ilocandia…Laoag Airport…NO AIR by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown (Can’t get enough of this song!Tell me how am I suppose to breathe with no air…Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air…that’s how I feel when you are not there…there’s no air, no air…Get me out of the water so deep…Tell me how you’ll gonna be without me…If you’re ain’t here I just can’t breathe…coz no air, no air)…American Idol Elimination Night (and Ramielle Malubay was voted off!)…Pamamaalam…Waving our sad goodbyes…
P.S.
I made a promise to myself that I will come back to this place soon…my heart was captured!
Uncategorized | Comments (2)Do The Shuffle Part 2
16. What could the weekend have in store for you?
It Might Be You by Stephen Bishop
Explanation: Something’s telling me it might be you…it’s telling me it might be you…all of my life…I don’t have anything in mind come Friday, Saturday and Sunday…Wanna go out with me this weekend? You…yes, you! It might be you! hehehe (“,)
17. What is your "love life" like right now?
Hardcore Poetry by Tavares
Explanation: This is a song not necessarily sweet…I’ll pass it on to folks that I never will meet…and if my words don’t make history…just call it hardcore poetry…I wonder if it’s possible to separate “love” from “life”….if you nab from somebody his or her one true love…eventually his life would follow….uh, by the way, did I answer it right? I just don’t see any connection between the question and the lyrics….Love Life, Hard Core Poetry? Nah, irreconcilable! Or can I say that my “Love Life” is like “Hard Core Poetry”?
18. How does your "object of your affection," see you?
I Drive Myself Crazy by N’Sync
Explanation: Lying in your arms…So close together…Didn’t know just what I had…Now I toss and turn Cause I’m without you…How I’m missing you so bad…Where was my head?…Where was my heart? Now I cry alone in the dark…I think we should rephrase the question, hehehehe…
19. Is there ever going to be a future between you and your object of affection?
Whenever, Wherever, Whatever by Maxwell
Explanation: Wish I knew if I could…Be the one that you would…Love forever ‘n a day baby…And if there’s a thing that you need…For you ‘n your blood I would bleed…Whenever Wherever Whatever…Nope, there’s no future for both of us…It’s all wishful thinking…I have taken a different path…Sad.
20. If you could rewrite the way you met your object of affection, how would you like it to go?
Sa Hangin (Jay Durias)
Explanation: Puso’t isipan ko’y kay hirap baguhin…burahin mo mabuti ay nandun pa rin…Ika’y mantsa sa aking daigdig parang nakabaon sa hangin…There’s no chance to rewrite it…I’d like to give in to my whimsical mind but reality bites…sabi nga ng kanta, siya’s mantsa na lang sa aking daigdig at nakabaon na sa hangin…sometimes, I just breathe it…I wish it can still be materialized but it’s better to leave that way…Let go Ipzum…Let go…Life must go on….
21. What do you like most about your object of affection?
Dangerously In Love by Beyonce
Explanation:
I am in love with you…You set me free…I can’t do this thing Called life without you here with me…Cause I’m Dangerously In Love with you I’ll never leave Just keep lovin’ me…The way I love you loving me Need I say more? 
22. Have you ever lost a love to a best friend?
Soon by Moon pools and Caterpillars
Explanation: One day soon it’s going to happen to you and when it does it won’t be pretty…then one day soon its going to happen to you and when it does…I won’t be there…Do I have to answer this directly with a “YES” or do I have to elaborate further using the lyrics?
24. Is there a place you’d rather be than where you are right now?
Perfect by Alanis Morissette
Explanation: Sometimes is never quite enough…If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love…Don’t forget to win first place Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face…Be a good boy Try a little harder…You’ve got to measure up…And make me prouder How long before you screw it up…How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up…With everything I do for you…The least you can do is keep quiet…I don’t have to wish for anything more…my life at the moment is perfectly fine…But mind you, the lyrics of the song speak so much of my childhood issues…
25. What’s gonna cause you so much pain?
If I Was the One by Ruff Endz
Explanation: If I was the one who was loving you baby…The only tears you’d cry would be tears of joy…And if I was by your side…You’d never know one lonely night…And if it was my arms you were running to…I’d give you love in these arms of mine…If I was the one in your life…Foreign version of Bituin Escalante’s “Kung Ako Na Lang Sana”…Just read between the lines…If you are in the shoes of the one who made this song, wouldn’t it cause you so much pain to realize that you will never have the chance to be with the love of your life again because you lost that person to your best friend? Sad no? Hehehe…
26. What’s gonna make you extremely happy?
Heaven (Candle Light Mix) by DJ Sammy and Yanou feat. Do
Explanation: Oh, thinking about all our younger years, There was only you and me, We were young and wild and free. Now nothing can take you away from me. We’ve been down that road before, But that’s over now. You keep me coming back for more. Reminds me of my thirty-day retreat…perhaps the best days of my life where I was extremely happy…
27. What do you sing in the shower?
Ordinary People by John Legend
Explanation: (Me singing inside the shower room) We’re just ordinary people…We don’t know which way to go…Coz we’re ordinary people…Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)…This time we’ll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)…This time we’ll take it slow…
28. What do you sing when it rains?
Sa Pagpatak ng Ulan by Noel Cabangon
Explanation: Sa pagpatak ng ulan…Sa aking pag-iisa…Di ko malaman…Kung anong magagawa…Ngayong ika’y wala na…Na sa aking puso’y nagmamahal…Nung unang makita ka… Coincidence, coincidence! But I still have to wait for the rainy season in order to sing this song,hehehehe…
29. What’s the song that comes to your mind when you see an old couple holding hands?
Power of Two by Indigo Girls
Explanation: So were okay Were fine Baby I’m here to stop your crying Chase all the ghosts from your head I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed Smarter than the tricks played on your heart Well look at them together then well take them apart Adding up the total of a love that’s true Multiply life by the power of two The greatest power of all is the power of love. Period.
30. What’s the song that comes to your mind when you bump into an enemy?
Caught a Lite Sneeze by Tori Amos
Explanation: Right on time you get closer…And closer…Called my name but there’s no way in…Use that fame…Rent you wife and kids today…Maybe she will…Maybe she will caught a lite sneeze…Dreamed a little dream…Made my own pretty hate machine… Sometimes, I’d like to think that my enemies are bunch of allergens that trigger my prostaglandin—causing redness, swelling, itchiness and sneezing…kaya ako nangangati kapag nakikita ko sila,hehehehe…(thanks to “Inday” for the term)
32. What’s the song that comes to your mind when you bump into your high school friends?
Next in Line by After Image
Explanation: What has life to offer me …When I grow old…What’s there to look forward to beyond the biting cold…’Coz they say it’s difficult…Yes, stereotypical…You gotta be conventional,…You can’t be so radical… I wish we will have a reunion soon…and perhaps, sing this song among ourselves the way we used to sing this eons ago….
33. Do you think your life has meaning?
Everybody Hurts by the Corrs
Explanation: When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on) If you feel like letting go, (hold on) When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on ‘Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone Life can be very difficult at times because you’re dealing with endless possibilities…It’s a fact that you get hurt along the way but oddly enough, your pain can be your redemption for it will teach you a lesson…Life, after all, is not about happiness but meaning….
34. Are you ever going to live happily ever after?
Angels Brought Me Here by Guy Sebastian
Explanation: My dreams came true, right here in front of you…My miracle…If you could see, what I see, you’re the answer to my prayers…And if you could feel, the tenderness I feel…You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here… I will live happily ever after…I believe so because I have with me my “angels”.
35. What song is most likely to play at your funeral?
Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
Explanation:
I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet, Sat by the river and it made me complete. Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in, I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. I came across a fallen tree, I felt the branches; are they looking at me? Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of? Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in, I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. So if you have a minute why don’t we go, Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know, Somewhere only we know. Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on. So, tell me when you gonna let me in, I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. So if you have a minute why don’t we go, Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, so why don’t we go, Hmmm yeahh, This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know, Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know. When I die, I would definitely recommend this song to be sung at my funeral…Nice parting song….
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Do the Shuffle Part 1
DO THE SHUFFLE!
Instructions:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle mode.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title (and artist, maybe a line or two, and then some comments) as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating, please!
1. How are you feeling right now?
Bilanggo (Rizal Underground)
Explanation: Bilanggo…sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo…bilanggo…sa gapos na dulot ng pag-iisip sa’yo…hanggang kailan pa ba magdaramdam? Hanggang kailan pa ba masasaktan? Sa pag-iisip sa’yo maski ganito at ganyan…sigh, someone just stole my heart away…
2. What have you been thinking of the past few days?
Suddenly (Olivia Newton John & Andy Gibb)
Explanation: Suddenly the wheels are in motion, and I, I’m ready to sail any ocean…Suddenly I don’t need the answers ‘coz I, I’m ready to take all my chances with you…But there isn’t any more chance at all…there are words left unspoken and I’d rather let go…
3. What could tomorrow have in store for you?
The Hardest Thing (98 Degrees)
Explanation: It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do…to turn around and walk away, pretending I don’t love you…Sad lyrics but I’m still pretty sure that tomorrow’s gonna be a lovely day!
4. How is your relationship with your best friends these past few days?
Reward (Jay Durias)
Explanation: Mother you are so very far away from me Hopeless birthdays made me cry My heart kept saying: it’s all right Obviously that’s how it was meant toe Now I know There was a reason for it all And I am not lonely anymore I got my reward That’s why I am loved I have you My brother, my best friend You are everything I need You are the sun the air I breathe Without you, life wouldn’t be the same Please never go away And if you go then don’t forget to take me with you The love that I gave was used against me Honesty seemed a foreign and old-fashioned word Maybe I just don’t understand ’cause i’m a stranger in this land Even friends failed to make me feel at home Now I know There was a reason for it all… Jestes moja nagroda You are my reward Self Explanatory…See the “bold” texts if you want the gist of the entire song…
5. How do strangers see you?
You Learn (Alanis Morrissette)
Explanation: You live you learn, you love you learn …You cry you learn, you lose you learn …You bleed you learn, you scream you learn… You grieve you learn, you choke you learn…You laugh you learn, you choose you learn …You pray you learn, you ask you learn…You live you learn…If I happen to meet a stranger and ask him on how to do about with my life, I think he will just tell me that life is a matter of learning, un-learning, and re-learning…
6. How do your best friends see you?
Later (Fra Lippo Lippi)
Explanation: It’s too late to start pretending…It’s too late for a new beginning…Later than the sunset…Later than the rain…Later than never to love you again…Do you regret for not having spent quality time with me and our goodbyes has led our friendship to doom? Tell Me…
7. What could have been the song that played the minute you were born?
A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)
Explanation: Making my way downtown Walking fast Faces pass And I’m home bound Staring blankly ahead Just making my way Making a way Through the crowd And I need you And I miss you And now I wonder…. If I could fall Into the sky Do you think time Would pass me by ‘Cause you know I’d walk A thousand miles If I could Just see you Tonight A journey of a thousand mile starts with a single step…I rest my case….
9. What could have been the song that played while you were living through high school?
Send It Up (Vertical Horizon)
Explanation: I’m all right by the way…Everyone saves the day…Sometimes I feel it…My high school days were more of survival of the fittest….and this song somehow describes my angst toward life especially when I am confronted by the future…
10. What was it like when you first fell in love?
Standing Right Next To Me by Karla Bonoff
Explanation: I used to have a wish…One day I’d feel like this…Now I know love exists…Because it’s standing right next to me…Ang sarap ma-in love! Juskopo! hehehe…Nananadya yata yung shuffle mode ng I-Pod ko..tumpak lahat! Hehehehe…
11. What was it like when you first fell out of love?
Never Ever by All Saints
Explanation: A few questions that I need to know…how you could ever hurt me so…I need to know what I’ve done wrong and how long it’s been going on…Was it that I never paid enough attention? Or did I not give enough affection?…Not only will your answers keep me sane but I’ll know never to make the same mistake again… You can tell me to my face or even on the phone… You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know…Did I never treat you right? Did I always start the fight? Either way, I’m going out of my mind all the answers to my questions I have to find…Very well said….
12. What was your life like five years ago?
Time after Time by Tuck and Patti
Explanation: If you’re lost you can look and you will find me…Time after Time…If you fall, I will catch you I’ll be waiting…Time after Time…2003 was the year when I entered San Jose Seminary…the rest is history…one thing that is certain though, I was able to meet some friends that are for keeps…people who are willing to wait…willing to share…willing to love…willing to support…
13. What’s your life gonna be like five years from now?
Torete by Moonstar 88
Sandali na lang Maari bang pagbigyan Aalis na nga Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay Sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti Sana ay masilip…
(Talkin’ to myself this time…)
M1: After five years ba ay Torete ka pa rin?
M2: Palagay Mo?
M3: Ah, Ewan!
14. What keeps you up at night?
Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette
Explanation: You’ve already won me over in spite of me…And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet…Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are…I couldn’t help it…It’s all your fault…Falling for someone gives you a giddy feeling and keeps you up all night….wishing, hoping, longing and dreaming…till you wake up from your own madness…
15. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you wake in the morning?
We Fit Together (O-Town)
Explanation: I can feel you comin’ closer… Dancin’ in the dark (Dancin’ in the dark)… I touch your lips and kiss your shoulders… Send a letter to your heart… I can’t explain to which extreme I’m feelin’ you (Feelin’ you)… How many triple x dreams that’s been starring you…Geez! It’s just a bad dream! (hehehe)
(watch out for part 2…)
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Parting Song
An articulation of the shout-out I posted yesterday….I hate good-byes…really!
Celebrate Me Home by Ruben Studdard
Home for the holidays,
I believe Ive missed each and every face,
Come on and play my music,
Lets turn on the love light in the place
Its time I found myself,
Totally surrounded in your circles
Whoa, my friends
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That Ill always remember,
And I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can sing me home.
Uneasy highway,
Traveling where the westerly winds can fly,
Somebody tried to tell me,
But the men forgot to tell me why,
I gotta count on being gone,
Come on woman, come on daddy,
Be what you want from me,
Im this strong, Ill be weak
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That Ill always remember,
I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can make believe Ive never gone,
I never know where I belong,
Sing me home.
Please, celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
Please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate me home
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Well Im finally here,
But Im bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Well Im finally here,
But Im bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Well Im finally here,
But Im bound to roam,
Come on celebrate me home
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Please, celebrate me home,
Mensahe Sa Mga Nagtapos
Inspired by Dreams and Nightmares Homily of Bishop Chito Tagle
Inspirational Message
Class of 2008
Flos Carmeli Institute of
Fairview ,
Quezon City
March 29, 2008
Good afternoon everyone!
Pardon me, but I’m afraid of the outcome of the message that I will deliver this afternoon. I am not sure whether I can actually inspire or maybe, lead you to further disillusionment since I identify myself very well with these young men and women sitting in front of me, wearing their togas, waiting for their names to be called, as they will be going up this stage later in order to receive their diploma, a visible proof that they have survived high school. You know, I am also having this weird feeling that has been bothering me lately, because I too, recently graduated from my theological studies and there’s this “unexplained uncertainty “of what’s in store for me in the future. Like these students, I also grapple with the many facets of reality and mind you, getting a grip out of my own life can at times be an excruciating task.
But allow me to share to you some of my thoughts and reflections about this “rite of passage” in one’s life where a person is confronted by a lot of possibilities, and would have to make a crucial decision that will eventually define his or her fate later on.
I am always fascinated by dreams. Sometimes, I would have to consult a book or an expert in order to interpret the persons I came in contact with, the scenarios where I situated myself in and the occurrences that took place in my reverie. Funny but, it has been a squabble between my personal faith and the existing folk practices because I’d like to believe that my dreams could speak so much of my reality, of the things that I long for in the present moment. If there’s superstition involved in the understanding of my dreams, there’s also a scientific explanation for it. Psychologists would even claim that dreams are manifestations of an individual’s subconscious mind, exposing his or her deepest thoughts, feelings and desires. Hence, if we take it in the literal sense of the word, dream is synonymous to ambition, wish, goal, or even hope. To dream is to aspire for something and I think this is what usually enters our consciousness whenever we are asked by somebody, “What is your dream?” Nevertheless, we Filipinos are fond of making distinctions. Dreams in our own native language could mean two things: “Panaginip” or “Pangarap”.
“Panaginip” has something to do with one’s fantasies, because this usually happens when a person is sleeping (unless something is seriously wrong with him or with her that he or she compulsively indulges in daydream) Sa madaling salita, normal lang sa isang tao ang managinip kapag tulog; Subalit, mayroon ding nananaginip ng gising, and we can always tell the individual’s disposition by knowing where he/she is inclined to.
“Pangarap” on the other hand connotes one’s yearnings, something which is not “yet there” but has the possibility to materialize. It is usually connected with the future, where a person sees himself or herself in particular state of life or social status…it is something concrete…it is something palpable. At times, it poses a challenge because an individual has to work hard and persevere with ardour so that he or she will be able to realize his or her dreams…kailangan niyang magsumikap at magpunyagi para maabot niya ang kanyang mga pinakamimithing pangarap.
Now that we are aware of the distinctions, I believe that we can always qualify to any of these connotations, but the latter is more compelling and more thought-provoking because it tests our human capacity and spirit. Naniniwala po ako na mas may dating sa atin ngayon ang mangarap kaysa managinip. But, whatever our choices may be, we will undoubtedly encounter “nightmares” from time to time. What do I mean by this? Managinip man tayo o mangarap, maraming pagkakataon na makakaharap natin ang isang masalimuot na bangungot na siyang makapagdudulot sa atin ng kaba, takot, lungkot at ligalig. Having a nightmare is like plunging into the deep, with no certainty that we might be able to break free from all the mind-boggling mysteries , for it assumes a lot of forms—our everyday nightmares could be the pressures from family and peers that keep us from following our own instincts and not their whims…it could be our frustrations in life which often lead us to despair, keeping us from doing the things we ought to do…it could be the mistakes we have done in the past that tramples our self-confidence, and purges us to swear that we will never try our very best again…it could be our confusion over this endless search for sensibility and meaning that keeps our imagination from wandering and probing, thus, hindering our creativity to reach its fruition…
Seeing ourselves in a seemingly dismal effect of our own nightmares, we have the tendency to turn away from our dreams. We tend to extinguish that spark of hope that’s burning in our minds and hearts, unable to hold on to the light, convincing ourselves that we don’t have the capacity for something great…for something extraordinary…for something worth keeping and remembering. Sa madaling salita, may mga pagkakataong hinahayaan nating malugmok ang ating sarili sa ating mga bangungot sa buhay, kaya hindi na tayo natututong bumangon, gumising at muling mangarap. No wonder that what is happening in our society and in our country right now are indications of where we are more inclined to—we’d rather immerse ourselves with our nightmares than our dreams.
But mind you, if only we are able to look closely into our nightmares, we can see the possibility of dreaming once again. Oddly enough, our nightmares can serve as opportunities for dreams to surface once more if only we have learned to face it squarely. When we are able to develop this skill and know well the battles we are fighting for, with faith and trust in God and in ourselves, no nightmares can ever touch and trample our human spirit next time.
So, at this point in time, while most of us are enjoying, celebrating the commencement of yet another academic year, of another journey, of another chapter, what would be the one single advice I can give to you graduates as you head on to another conduit of your lives? I believe it has something to do with fulfilling your own dreams, or as a famous author would put it, YOUR OWN PERSONAL LEGEND, even if it takes a lot of nightmares along the way. A profound commitment to a dream does not confine or constrain: it liberates. Even a difficult, winding path can lead to one’s goal if he or she will follow it to the end (Paulo Coelho, Maktub). The reward is great if we have learned to fight the good fight, though we may encounter occasional defeats. Sa pagpapatuloy ng ating pagtahak sa buhay, sana huwag nating kalimutan ang ating mga pangarap kasi kadalasan, ito ang nagsisilbing inspirasyon at kalakasan para sa ating lahat sa kabila ng hirap, sa kabila ng bigat, sa kabila ng lungkot, sa kabila ng pag-aalinlangan…
I’d like to end this with a story. It is a story of a man, who pursued the dream he really wanted for himself but had to deal with his father, who was for him a nightmare; because he was forced to go after something he was not destined to do. It is actually a battle between what is desirable and what is profound…of what is ideal and of what is real. But in the end, he prevailed because his uncertainties turned into gestures of hope and his Father eventually supported him. Allow me to share to you a few lines from his testimony:
For a lot of kids, especially boys, playing a game is the first thing that makes them feel alive. Football taught me that I could work at something and master it. Something that mattered in a way that school didn’t. Football was the first thing I cared about enough to suffer for. Every day in the summer before I entered high school, I would throw 150 passes through a tire my father rigged in the entrance of the garage for me.
Football was my first love but you see first love is just fickle. By the time I was 17, in the summer before my senior year of high school, I had grown tired of playing football. I was the starting quarterback, but I wanted to quit. Lately, I’ve figured out this enthusiasm for writing and I already had the conviction that if I will pursue this, life would be very meaningful for me. This was actually dream I would want to aim for, because this was my truest aspiration, the only passion I have honed and developed through the years. There was a problem, though. I’d have to tell my father, the man who missed work to come to every game, who caught a million of my passes, who believed in me when the coach didn’t. On the walls of our locker room, the axioms athletes live by were scrawled like graffiti. One of them haunted me as I figured out how to tell my father: "A quitter never wins and a winner never quits." While my father wasn’t a macho jock type, I believed he’d be disappointed in me, that he’d remind me I was letting my teammates down.
When I told him, he smiled and said, "I’m proud of you. You’ve learned something it took me 40 years to learn, something most people never learn – to follow your heart, not other people’s expectations."
Ano po ang nais ipabatid ng istorya sa ating lahat. Ang gustong sabihin lang naman nito sa atin ay hindi masama ang mangarap basta sa pagkamit nito ay gamit natin ang ating puso, ang ating diwa at ang ating pananampalataya. Now, I’d like to invite the graduating students to close your eyes and think of your particular dream or dreams in life, of the things you love doing, of the passions you would like to pursue…
(short silence)
Now open your eyes. In your thoughts, I want you to be grateful to your parents and teachers who somehow, gave you a lot of opportunities in having a glimpse of your dreams. After the ceremony later on, I want you to thank them and tell them with full conviction: “Ma, Pa…Mom, Dad…Nay, Tay…Ma’am, Sir…Ito po ang aking pangarap para sa aking sarili at para na rin pos a iny …
sana po suportahan ninyo ako.
To the teachers, I salute you for your tireless effort and unceasing support to these students.
To the parents and other family members who are here this afternoon, I commend you for a job well done. You have indeed made a man and a woman out this young girls and boys. Keep on supporting them in their dreams.
To the graduates, my warmest congratulations. Enjoy the summer sun while it is hot. You really deserve a break after four tedious years. Just prepare yourselves because by June, a new life awaits you. It will be challenging but I bet that you will be able to go through smoothly, by a holding on to your dreams and possessing an unwavering faith that will serve as your guide and your inspiration.
Magandang hapon po ulit sa inyong lahat!
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