28th Heart Beat

Exodus

My eldest sister left already for London. I can see the pain in her eyes as she brought her son back to Iloilo early this week because of the delay in the issuance of the travel visa. The British Embassy in Manila advised her to wait until August in order to make sure that everything will be ready by then. She thought to herself that the waiting would be unnecessary though she still wanted to prolong her vacation at home. She had no choice but to bequeath her two-month old baby in the meantime because she obliged herself to return back to work in the soonest time possible, defying the recommendations of her doctors to rest for few more months, so that she could pay her escalating household bills.

People would claim that being in a foreign land is always full of hopes and optimism, that life is a lot better and a lot happier when you’re working abroad, rather than stay here in the country and whine in eternity for the many problems we are encountering particularly, the recurring economic flux and deterioration. True enough, you can earn those dollars or sterling pounds which could readily address the neediness experienced by your folks but when it comes to the reality of happiness, it is always relative. Yes, you can send money to the Philippines but it always involves sacrifice. At times, this sacrifice can break your heart so much especially when you realize that you’re alone and longing for home but you’d preferably endure that loneliness and would just cry a river because you made a firm decision that you should have no other choice but to stay considering that if ever you would give up, your family will eventually crumble into pieces since they are depending so much on your financial support. Just imagine the emotional dilemma our OFWs are experiencing. They have no right to insist on their individual choices (although it is obvious that they will really choose home for they don’t want to leave their families) since it is something that they impose on themselves because of that desire of getting a better chance at life.

According to the recent figures, more than 1 million Filipinos leave the country every year in order to find lucrative jobs in foreign lands. That’s about 3,000 of our countrymen leaving each day, braving even the strangest places on the planet (I was surprised to find out that there are Filipino English Teachers working in remote Mongolia from a documentary made for television), grabbing every single opportunity from alluring openings like high paying jobs, better working situations and finer standards of living…all for the purpose and sheer luck of giving a decent life to their families. But the painful part of this is the certainty of leaving one’s parents, one’s wife or husband, one’s children, one’s brothers and sisters, and one’s friends because he or she has to stick with his or her ideals and ambitions even if it will cost the person his or her own happiness.The Land of dreams is also a land of sorrow and longing. Although Filipinos can easily adapt to their new environment but most of them will still swear that “there’s no place like home”. Nevertheless this yearning has to be suspended excruciatingly because it is also hard to imagine a home where a particular family has no means of sustaining themselves in terms of food, shelter, clothing, healthcare and education.

Few years back, I remember my eldest sister telling me that, “Toto, kung ako lang ang masunod, gusto ko nga ululupod kita tanan, nga wala bala sing nagapalayo, pero kung hindi ako magbalik sa London, ano ang gastuhon ni papa kag ni nanay hay pareho man sila nga wala obra? Ano ang paeskwela ko sa imo kag sa imo manghod?” She was telling this to me with tears welling from her eyes as her statement sounded more like a sharp knife that pierced my heart because this longing will not only come from her but from us, the family she will again leave behind. We had to wait for another two or three years (mind you, at times, the anticipation seemed like eternity) before we can see her again. This pain of longing was felt even more when I was ordained priest and both of my sisters who are working abroad did not make it due to unavoidable circumstances. I was crying in front of people because I wanted them to be present on my special day. I want to share to them my joy but I am only limited to send DVD copies of the video coverage and the printed pictures because they are miles and miles away from home. But despite my heart’s protest, I have to understand them because I am fully aware that they had no choice. To deprive themselves of our physical presence is actually a way of showing their unconditional love and I can’t blame them both for deciding to have that better chance at life in the Land of Promise, even if it will cost them a thousand heartaches and yearnings for being far from us.

If only our country can also be a Land of Promise in terms of providing a better life for Filipinos, exodus will not happen, homes will be intact, and families will stay together…forever.

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