33rd Heartbeat

FROM NOBODY TO SOMEBODY

This week, the Gospel readings made me reflect on the twelve disciples. It’s hilarious to think about the way they were chosen because it turned out to be an underdog story. Out of nowhere, Jesus randomly selected these guys where in my own understanding would create an impression that he has done it haphazardly because they seemed to be awfully ordinary. They have no wealth to spend in their various ministries, no academic background that will make them competent and believable in preaching, no impressive resume to present and boast to every prominent individuals they will meet along the journey, and no considerable position in the society where they could somehow gain respect from people.They are nothing but a bunch of losers who cannot even have the grip out of their own lives and following Jesus would be a lame excuse for some of them in trying to redeem themselves from the troubles that they have created prior in becoming a disciple. Out of their ordinariness, they were an peculiar mixture: a Publican known for his corrupt manner of collecting taxes (Matthew), a Zealot, who has an unbreakable keenness to liberty (Simon), a Seeker who wanted to make sense of his own life (Andrew), a Doubter who keeps on asking questions and who swears that he will only believe if he “sees” it (Thomas), an Impulsive Individual who easily jumps into things without considering the consequences (Peter) , the elder “Boanerges” (sons of thunder) known for his “hot headedness” and “stormy personality” (James), the younger “Boanerges” (sons of thunder) known for his closeness and reliance to his Teacher (John), , the two best of friends, one of which is a fishermanwho is in quest of the Messiah (Philip)and who later on invited his friend that seemed to have an inordinate attachment to the fig tree (Nathanael or Bartholomew), and the two little known disciples whose names only appeared in the pages of the Gospel, who remained in anonymity simply because they didn’t stand out at all (James, Son of Alphaeus and Thaddeus), and of course,the “Traitor” (we have to include Judas Iscariot in due respect for his being an “original” member of the twelve until he screwed up) who sold his Teacher for thirty pieces of silver, and was later on replaced by another average guy because there is a need to fill up the empty slot (Matthias).

Nevertheless, Jesus chose them, because he was not looking for somebody exceptional, but he was after self-effacing men who can do things extraordinarily well. Jesus chose these twelve not for what they were in the past but for what they are capable of doing at the moment and their eventual transformation under his influence and guidance. These men were selected in order to be with him, to be his disciples, to be his learners, and to be his friends, to be “Alter-Christus”. This can only be made possible if they mature in their relationship and intimacy with Jesus Christ.They have to do his work in the world; they must live in his presence before they are being sent out. They must go from the company of Christ to the company of men. Later on, they received power and authority to continue the mission of Jesus Christ: to heal the sick, raise the dead, to cleanse the impure, and to drive out demons. They too have this extraordinary ministry of bringing life, healing and forgiveness to men and women from all walks of life.

The choosing of the twelve reminded me of the story of the pig. A pig has been infamous for its repugnance to personal hygiene even if it is still considered the best tasting delicacy, gracing every festivity with its succulent meat (not minding the cholesterol as long as the pig satisfy one’s craving). One particular behaviour of this animal that really caught my attention is its penchant to something dirty or filthy. A pig, after it has been washed, cleaned and tidied up wallows itself again in the mud. I know it is just typical for most, but in my reflection, this analogy best describes the nature of those who decided to follow Christ.

I received a text message from a friend years ago which I rephrased. It’s actually a confrontation between the chicken and the cow. They were arguing about the pain they have to endure just to provide sustenance for every family food table. The chicken told the cow that she has to lay eggs agonizingly just to come up with a plain sunny side up for breakfast. The cow argued back that she has to eat heaps of green, bitter herbs and endure the seemingly endless squeezing just to come up with an ounce of milk. The pig, in order to appease the two, told them that she has nothing to offer except her life just to provide meat to mankind. The two were stunned. End of the story.

It is funny how this animal who wallows himself unceasingly in the mud will eventually make the ultimate sacrifice. I think this was the reality of every disciple called by Jesus to follow him because no matter how sinful they were in the past, at the end of it all, they still made an earnest and decisive surrender — they offered not just one aspect of their entirety as human persons but they offered their whole life, given all their capacities and limitedness.

It was a journey from nobody to somebody.

Now, I stared at the mirror, asking myself this recurring question: “Why am I called for in this life?”

“God’s decisions are always mysterious, but they are always on our favor…” (Paulo Coleho)

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