34th Heartbeat

“SENTI…”

Allow me to be sentimental this time.

It was the annual celebration of a baranggay fiesta. Rain poured out so hard that the spectators barged into the covered nooks of the basketball court that was worn out by the waves of time and the harsh weather conditions. Five elderly men came up the stage, bringing their respective musical instruments that were refurbished by plasters and snippets of wood. All of them sat by the mono block chairs as they waved their hands to their enthusiastic fans, as if they were having a gig in a huge arena. The two were tweaking the pitch of their guitars by plucking the strings intermittently; one was positioning the chin rest of his odd-shaped violin to his neck as he touched a chord with his bow; the other one was holding a ukulele whose sharp sound contributed to the outwardly cheerful disposition of the crowd. When they started playing, everyone was attentive because they wouldn’t want to miss any single note that delighted their audible range. Despite the downpour, the world stopped. I sat by the stilted bench as I listened to them, stunned at what I became aware of. The songs were rather unfamiliar but the melody speaks so much of one word that satisfied my persistent longing: HOME.

It’s nice to be back in Calmay, Janiuay after eight months of not wandering through the off the beaten track in order to reach the place I called home for one month and five days. In my musing, it was hard to figure out what particular episode in my stint as a deacon assigned to this small baranggay parish that truly mesmerized me. In my limited capacity to unravel the mysterious, I only reasoned out that maybe, it was the serenity of the place or the warm reception of the people that really captured my heart. Yet, behind all these things, I would still show discontent for there must be an unexplainable force that compelled me to exhaust all of my memories as I introduced myself to new acquaintances and consigned myself to the pristine corners of the surreal landscapes.

Calmay must be enchanted, captivating my jaded and weary soul.

According to stories, even soldiers who temporarily resided in this place share the same sentiment as mine. They found it hard to depart from this thriving community after they have served their purpose for several months. At times, I’d like to think that the place has a surreptitious and magical lure that kept people wanting for more, giving them so much sadness if ever they decide to leave. Calmay may not provide the best of what urbanity and modernization have to offer, but its laid back environment can be a solitary refuge from the hustle and bustle of this fast changing world. One maybe deprived of seeing how life normally evolves through progress, but the purity and the calmness of the area will help him discover so many profound truths about his entirety as a person. This is no tourist spot because the natural wonders were devastated by the typhoon, but the familiarity of interacting with the locals and that once in a lifetime chance of serving them for various purposes are the best experiences one could ever have. It made me realize over and over again that it is meaning, not happiness that will put essence in a man’s life, and this essence is usually unfolded in its simplicity.

Like the poignant melody being played by the elderly musicians before the eager crowd, my memories of Calmay will forever be inscribed into the very core of my being, giving me with bittersweet thoughts about losing and finding my way back home.

“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, and voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when” (Starhawk)

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