41st Heartbeat

PESTENG YAWA! (A story of Violence)

“Pesteng Yawa Ka!”

I heard this expression from old folks in our baranggay several years ago and they usually blurt this out whenever they curse somebody who has offended them so much. The statement was born out of one’s hatred and would also entail the consequence of not giving the person a chance to redeem himself and be forgiven.

In its etymology, the expression is somewhat petrifying because it signifies two gruesome things in life: the “pest” and the “devil”…the “bane of one’s existence” and the “brute”. Sometimes, in my jocularity, I’d like to think that this “Pesteng Yawa” can be translated as “The Devilish Pest” or “The Pest-y Devil” But to use this translation in regular conversation could be the most degrading insult you can give to the human person because it’s like drowning him into the great abyss, wishing and hoping that he is rather dead than living.

Last week, I had an encounter with this “Pesteng Yawa”, a devil in disguise through a testimony narrated to me by the sister of the victim of a shoot-out. I’d like to believe in the inner goodness of the person but to those whom this “Pesteng Yawa” has hurt so much, it was so difficult for them to accept this fact. The family of the victim wanted this devil to be banished from their very eyes because they could no longer contain their abhorrence. They would want the authorities to hasten their investigation and manhunt so that the culprit will be put behind bars and suffer the perpetual incarceration. While listening to them, there was so much loathing and I was drained emotionally after the conversation.

This story of violence started with a happy and closely-knitted family. They lived harmoniously in a compound where they treated each other with much respect, supporting one another in difficult times. Then one day, the brother of the wife of the victim decided to live with them. He stayed on the other room together with his own wife and children. Everything went on smoothly except for occasional rift between the victim and his wife’s brother but it was more of a “war of the words” especially when the victim is drunk and frenzied. He would utter derogatory and sarcastic statements that often annoyed the brother of his wife. But the next morning, the victim would still find ways to settle things for good considering that he didn’t mean to say those words and he valued the fact that they are a “family.However, one ill-fated evening, the victim was drunk again and created a commotion inside their compound. His wife’s brother got upset again but never said a word. Little did they know that he bought a gun and was ready to pull the trigger during that time. When the victim went out of their wooden gate, he was shot and helplessly sprawled on the ground. He was begging to his wife’s brother not to shoot anymore but to no avail. He was gunned down over and over again until he breathed his last. There was bloodshed in the neighborhood. People panicked as they responded to the victim. The culprit and his family were able to escape that until now, they could not be found despite the thorough investigation of the authorities. The “Pesteng Yawa” found solace in the oblivion of darkness and evil.

As I was talking to the sister of the victim, I felt her pain and anguish. They wanted to take revenge. They wanted this criminal, whom they considered as “part of the family” to suffer exactly what their defenceless brother had endured in his vicious hands. In the period of our conversation, I never said a word at all because I was stunned by the things that had happened. On my way home, there was a deafening silence around me as I pondered on the existence of evil in this world. Paradoxically, this evil was created by man himself, who is considered as the pinnacle of creation- formed, shaped, fashioned after the image and likeness of God.There was a protest on my part because I have always been a firm believer in the inner goodness of the human person. Nagapati gid ko nga ang Dios wala nagtuga sining “Pesteng Yawa”.

In my consternation, I just said a little prayer, particularly to this person who has gone astray because he could no longer face the crime he has committed. If he is hiding right now, I believe that it is not just for the reason of keeping himself away from the authorities or the family of the victim. Hopefully, his escape will become an opportunity to look into his very self from the vantage point of right and wrong. I’d like to imagine that he is being bothered by his conscience right now and it will be the most difficult thing to deal with because it will make him culpable before God, who created him in the first place. Perhaps, this “Pesteng Yawa” will later on surrender to the authorities, will be subjected to the mandates of the civil law, will get jailed for life, but will eventually redeem himself before his Creator.

“In violence we forget who we truly are” (Mary McCarthy) because we choose to turn ourselves into evil rather than good…the human person that God wants us to be.

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