40th Hearbeat

BUMPER STICKERS

A bumper sticker is an adhesive label or sticker with a message, intended to be attached to the bumper of an automobile and to be read by the occupants of other vehicles - although they are often stuck onto other objects. They are often catchy phrases that tackle everything under the sun: from religion to politics, from a life philosophy to an ad campaign of a new product, from various advocacies to rib-tickling phrases, from profound words to witty one-liners. Regardless of what is written, the purpose of posting these bumper stickers is really to catch attention and will eventually solicit diverse reactions from people.

Last week, when I joined the annual retreat of Jaro Clergy in Bukal ng Tipan, Talisay City, a lot of insights popped out of my mind as I pondered on so many areas of human relationship. I was able to mull over on the authentic exercise of leadership, the real use of power, the disinterested scope of influence, the profound meaning of personal integrity, the boundless might of vision, the proper way of bringing out the best in people, and the necessity of a participatory church.

Looking back, I think I also posted a lot of bumper stickers, not on my car (…obviously because I don’t have one!) but in my head and in my heart and let me share to you some:

1. God is an interruption. We can choose to forget him once in a while but He will always be someone whom we cannot live without.
2. A leader is measured in his capacity to perform and to relate. It’s nice that people look up to you as an authority figure based on the role that you play, but in the end, they will still opt for somebody who is a compassionate friend, rather than an efficient performer. Performance can gain you applause and recognition but relationship can gain you commitment and loyalty.
3. A mature person must be humble enough to own his mistakes, clever enough to learn from them and strong enough to correct everything and start all over again.
4. Sometimes, we have to get out of ourselves in order to let others get in.
5. Integrity is a rare commodity these days. Being who I am no matter where I am and whom I am with is a formidable task.
6. Change is inevitable. We tend to avoid this because we are too afraid to be better and wiser.
7. Choices can be blurry, but that extraordinary human capacity to “stand for what you believe is honest and true” will definitely define who you are and what you will become.
8. From an anonymous author: “No two people are alike. So no two people can approach God at exactly the same time. No one else can give God what you can give Him. You don’t have to imitate anyone in order to please God. You just have to be yourself.”
9. The difference between a dream and a vision rests on the person’s consciousness. Dream is creative imagination, something that may or may not happen, leaving you with uncertainty. Vision, on the other hand, is foresight, something that you believe that will happen in the near future as you work hard for its realization.
10. Some would claim that our future lies in our hands, but this future has two possibilities: we can either stare at the lines of our palms and passively wait for what our sheer luck has to offer or to mobilize our ten fingers and creatively shape our destiny.

11.I’d like to believe that love and power are complementary. Yes, the greatest power of all is love, but love is understood in the context of freedom. Power on the other hand, is understood in the context of responsibility.

12.In times when I’m really, really down, and life sucks, I just look at the mirror, give myself a deep sigh, and say: “God does not make a junk. No matter what happens, I was, I am and I will always be his beloved Son”

13.When you TRUST someone, you would allow him/her to challenge, or even to push you, and that very act of PUSHING can be very painful sometimes. And yet, because of trust, you are very much willing to undergo that painful process because you believe this person is capable of bringing out the best in you.

14.If you want to possess an authority that never fails, be a witness. The actual witnessing of the life that you lead is an authentic power.

15.It’s nice to have good, good friends who are willing to journey with me through life’s greatest battles and what makes it more fortunate is that they’re my brothers in the ministry.

39th Heartbeat

The Prayer of a Forgetful Receiver to an Ever-Generous Giver of the Gift

Lord God,

You have filled me with so much love

long before I came to my senses

and acknowledge what was burning inside my heart

You have accompanied me in my journey

long before I became aware of

my fundamental need for human relationship and intimacy

You have given me

my much deserved freedom

long before I have learned to abuse it

You have humbled yourself

on the Cross,

long before I was poisoned

by my own vain ambition and foolish pride

You have forgiven me

of my misgivings

long before I was conscious enough

of the consequences of my actions

You have brought me back

on the right track

long before I have given up all my hopes

in myself and in others

Lord,

For the longest time, you have never failed me,

even if I constantly fail you.

You have always been faithful despite my infidelity.

You have loved me unconditionally,

in times when I thought I am not worthy

of any expression of love, kindness and acceptance

You have made me realize

that you are indeed the ultimate source of all human relationships

You have satisfied every longing of a weary human heart and spirit

Dear Lord,

Despite of all, you have provided me

with that peace of the mind and heart

I have longed to relish

by making me aware

that I am indeed destined to find my one, true love

And you know very well that my heart only and truly belongs to you.

Amen.

P.S.

Sorry if I keep on forgetting.

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38th Heartbeat

San Ignacio de Loyola (part two)

The Spirituality of Saint Ignatius

The spirituality of Saint Ignatius was borne out of his deep appreciation of the glory of Creation. Now one thing that Saint Ignatius taught us is that we can actually “find God in all things”. It means that whatever we are doing at the moment, be it a busy day at work, or just simply living a laid back and idyllic life, or burning our midnight oil as we engage ourselves in various intellectual pursuits, or exhausting our strength and stamina for every game that we play, we can see for ourselves God’s abiding presence because everything that surrounds us is definitely a gift, waiting to be unravelled by our own senses. It is actually an upholding of the endowment of Creation, with all its unity, splendour, magnificence, and diversity, where we focus not just on the gift that is given but also we focus on the “Giver” of the gift.

If we will be able to find God in all things, we will forever be grateful and will definitely try our very best to share this magnanimity of God’s graces to everyone, especially to those who are having difficulties in finding meaning to their existence, and to those who consider life as tiresome and droning. Gratefulness can make somebody an instrument of God’s providence because it will bring him to a deeper awareness of all that surrounds him and will enable him to appreciate even those little things that delight his senses. A grateful heart always remembers. A grateful heart never forgets.

The Way of Life of Saint Ignatius

In the area of doing ministry or apostolate, St. Ignatius introduced the term called “Magis” which was derived from the first principle and foundation of his spiritual exercises. “Magis” is a Latin word for “more” and is based on the faith affirmation that “The human person is created to praise, reverence, and serve God Our Lord, and by so doing to save his or her soul. Therefore, one should desire and choose only what helps him more towards the end for which he is created.”

“Magis” is best understood as a way of life rather than an act or series of acts which reveal a person’s commitment to the “more.” It is a relationship word, meaning that it applies in personal relationships, both with God and with others, in terms of love. It is through this love that the proper meaning of “more” is found- love given freely, in generosity, and always in reverence to God.[i] Hence, it is simply following the will of God, and doing the things that pleases God without having to compromise one’s inimitable identity.

I remember when I was in high school, I came across this simple yet thoughtful quotation from a Bible Diary given to me by my grandmother and this was embedded in my memory, defying all other things that I’ve learned through the years because it served as one of my philosophies in life, complementing my understanding of the word, “Magis”:

“No two people are alike. So no two people can approach God at exactly the same time. No one else can give God what you can give him. You don’t have to imitate anyone in order to please God. You just have to be yourself”

Later on, I’ve realized that “Magis” is not actually doing more, but being more so that all my intentions, actions and functions will ultimately be offered for the Greater Glory of God. With this kind of mindset and lifestyle, I am reminded of the real essence of service- that it should be disinterested, meaning I serve my brothers and sisters not because I am expecting something in return, but because it has been a part ofmy identity as a person. Doing “Magis” is my own  unique way of bringing back that love I have received from God. It is a thought provoking consciousness asking me these two important questions that will define the fullness and relevance of my life here on earth: “What more can I do for God? And what more can I do for others?”

There are still so many reasons for me to thank Saint Ignatius of Loyola and this column would not be enough to suffice my gratitude. He inspired me with his life and he is definitely one of the reasons why I decided to choose a life of service founded on love and selflessness.

“Lord, teach us to give and not to count the cost” (Prayer of Generosity, Saint Ignatius of Loyola)

37th Hearbeat

The Cory that I came to know

I am supposed to conclude my reflection on Saint Ignatius of Loyola in my column this week but I decided to save it for the next publication because I want to pay tribute to a person whose enormity and significance have stirred not just Filipinos, but people throughout the world. Poignant as it may seem, but her death has made our tiny country radiantly visible once again, gaining recognition from great personages because she has been the highly-recognized “Icon of Democracy”.

I’d like to talk about President Corazon C. Aquino: the Eleventh President of the Republic of the Philippines and the First woman President in Asia.

But I will not focus so much on her being a President, nor on the things that I came to know about her in Philippine History. I must admit that I still have a lot to learn about the 1972 Proclamation of Martial Law, the Marcos Dictatorship, the Assassination of Ninoy and the EDSA One Revolution before I will be competent enough to give my honest to goodness viewpoint on the political situation of our country during that time. I was only five years old then, when the Peaceful Revolution took place and I had very little understanding on the things that actually happened considering that I was still enjoying the joys of my childhood. Nationalism and Patriotism were not yet part of my crude vocabulary but I remember how my folks at home cheered with much jubilation when Cory replaced Marcos as president.

The Cory that I came to know was not somebody who inspired the adamant Filipinos to brave the long stretch of Epifanio de los Santos Avenue in order to topple down a dictator, or somebody escorted and protected by men in uniforms, or somebody who stood before a senate or congress to deliver her thought-provoking, heart-wrenching speech. The Cory that I came to know was a simple widow, who was fond of wearing yellow dresses, and who invited us once in a while to sing at the grave of her beloved husband.

Since the beginning of my theology formation in San Jose Seminary, there have been instances that we join Fr. Catalino Arevalo, S.J., our Rector, (Fr. Daniel Patrick Huang, S.J. in 2003, Fr. Victor De Jesus in 2004 and 2007) and Fr. Manoling Francisco, S.J. to Manila Memorial Park and sing at the Eucharistic Celebration in honor of Sen. Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino, Jr. in order to commemorate either his birthday or his death anniversary. This was made possible through the unremitting request of his wife, former President Corazon C. Aquino.

Ah, President Cory…she always leaves a breath of fresh air to everyone. She exuded this unassuming aura that will enable you to come near her, without being intimidated for she is soft-spoken and very accommodating. We were so fortunate then to exchange pleasantries with her even for a short time when she invited us for lunch at their Ancestral Home in Forbes Park, Makati. I remember the time when we sang Christmas carols to her delight, as our gratitude for her, in giving us some memorabilia that will make us remember her and Ninoy. In the many “close encounters” with President Cory, I was always edified by her endearing presence. Looking back, I can say that there’s an inherent goodness in this woman that I cannot think of anything unpleasant when I’m in front of her, as she smiles at people with sincerity.

Her goodness is simply infectious.

No wonder why she became a champion of the masses. Her name has been synonymous to democracy because she taught us that freedom and change are possible, even without bloodshed.

I was really saddened by her death. There were a lot of instances that I shed tears as I watched the news and documentary specials in her honor on the television screen. One specific experience I had last week where I could no longer hold back my emotions was when MYX Music Channel premiered for the first time, “Handog ng Pilipino sa Mundo”, an almost forgotten yet immortal song about EDSA, where they showed President Cory in her prime, emanating with courage and persistence, defying all stereotypes as she ended the many years of struggle and strife under the Marcos Regime, and the ABS-CBN Documentary Report that narrated her life as a simple and modest housewife who rose to power not by desire but by fate. The report put into view some clips during the EDSA One Revolution and I cried so hard when they showed a man asking a soldier to go down of the military tank and join them in their peaceful cause for freedom while saying this powerful statement that melted so many hearts of stone: “Pareho po tayong Pilipino. Wag po tayong mag-away!” Alone in the Priest’s common room, I wept profusely, acknowledging that hunger for meaning and relevance in my Identity as a Filipino. True enough, there are so many reasons for me to be proud as a Filipino. I kept on telling myself:“Kanami gid man gali ang mangin isa ka Pilipino”.

But behind the tears, I also felt the inevitable guilt. The experience was rather paradoxical on my part. I asked myself this question: “Do I have to wait for Cory to die in order for me to realize all of these things?” I felt ashamed because there were times that I have consigned myself in my own apathy particularly in making myself available for the various advocacies that desired the general welfare of my fellowmen. I felt ashamed because of the many instances that I did not become a good and responsible citizen, even just in obeying simple rules and regulations. I felt ashamed because I was too absorbed in my own world that I failed to be critical about the present situation of our nation. I felt ashamed because I was too afraid to look into my identity as a Filipino, and discover my own capacity for goodness, truth, honesty, and selfless love for the country.

The Cory that I came to know as a kind-hearted widow, who welcomed us in her humble home is very much the same with the Cory that I have seen, heard, and read as strong-willed woman who became the champion of democracy. Her death aggrieves me so much, even until now because she reminds me of who I am at the moment and what I should be as a Filipino, by making me realize the things that I have failed to do.

I still can’t get enough of that “Cory Magic”. She made me proud being a Filipino, yet made me humble by her altruistic love and passion for our country. She inspired me with her works as an icon of democracy and yet made me guilty of my own “unfreedom”. She moved me with her unwavering faith yet made me ponder with remorse on my helplessness and disbelief.

She now plays a significant part in my conscience and she will forever be my “reality check”

Salamat, President Cory.

36th Heart Beat

San Ignacio de Loyola (Part 1)

Most people would claim that our lives are generally “conditioned” by persons who mete out a bigger impact on us, influencing our manner of seeing things through their example. This is why we are in constant search of our own role models or heroes, imitating their various ways of life, hoping and wishing that someday, we can be like them simply because they have made us aware of our worst and yet, brought out the best in us.

I consider Saint Ignatius of Loyola as one of my heroes.

Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t an extension of our “Saint of the Week” column.I just want to pay tribute to this remarkable Spanish saint who played a significant role in my priestly formation. Whenever I skim through his biography, particularly his teachings, I am persistently challenged to offer everything that I do “for the greater glory of God”.[i]He has been a model of faithfulness, self-denial, simplicity, and service that I am also inspired to follow his example.

Hence, for two succeeding weeks of “Heartbeats”, allow me to share some few thoughts about his person, his habit, his spirituality and his way of life.

The Person of Ignatius

Before he became the founder of the Society of Jesus, Ignatius was a valiant soldier who fought for Spain against France in the famous battle of Pamplona. Severely wounded, he was relieved from army service and the long period of convalescence became a turning point in his life because he underwent conversion. He experienced not just physical healing, but spiritual healing as well. He consigned himself in prayer and contemplation, giving up his lavish lifestyle and his desire for glory in order that he may offer himself fully to the Lord.

Reflecting upon Ignatius’ conversion, I remember what Fr. Andy told us before during one of our “after-meal” conversations, and it has something to do with one’s personal conversion. If I am going to put it concretely, conversion and severity are closely intertwined because life’s greatest transformation could at times necessitate one extremely good or bad situation. It is really an out of the ordinary quirk of fate when someone who used to be extremely bad will turn out to be extremely good. But it’s possible, especially when the love of God becomes a part of the conversion process. It happened to Ignatius and it could also happen to anyone else. Fr. Adolfo Nicolas, S.J., the current Superior General of the Society of Jesus, explains this radical conversion beautifully: “Our imperfection, visible or invisible (although never invisible to our own selves) is our title of pride, as Paul would say. It is the best vehicle to share with people the ever life-giving goodness and mercy of God. We are not servants of a calculating and mean God, but of the life-giving God who can give life even to dead bones.” Whenever I come across the image of Ignatius, I am always reminded of the statement, “radical conversion”, and this extraordinary human capacity granted through God’s grace is something which I cannot admit to myself sometimes. And for this, I am being humbled.

The Habit of Ignatius

A priest once told us, that “a custom becomes a habit when it is done in routine”. I thought all the while that they are basically the same in terms of definition but later on, I’ve realized that a custom is nothing but an outward action of something that has been a part of human mechanism. Habit on the other hand, is indispensably linked to a person’s identity that is why it is often hard to break.Ignatius loved to pray under the vast assemblage of stars because it reminded him of the magnanimity of God’s graces, revealed in the glory of creation. This habit brought him to a deeper level of gratitude that all he ever wanted was to serve God in the best possible way he can. God’s universe is indeed wonderful and mysterious!

As I pondered on the unique yet profound habit of Saint Ignatius, I look back at those instances where I became less grateful for the many graces and blessings I received from God as I see life as a monotony, hardly exerting any effort especially in making sense of the things that had happened during the day. I failed to realize that the stars that brighten the night sky are there not just there for scientific investigations but they also serve as constant reminders of God’s immense bounteousness, giving me more than what I expected.

35th Heartbeat

A FISH NAMED WANDA[i]

I am an advocate of nature and nurture and I have been keeping pets for quite some time.

Allow me to tell you something about Wanda.

I came across a small pet shop one unpleasantly cold evening of January 2009 and saw “Wanda” placed inside a small glass jar. Upon seeing him, I never had second thoughts of taking him home with me so that I have something to embellish my seemingly bare counter cabinet. Days after, I bought a clear medium-sized tubular vase and polished stones from the home section of a department store, not just for aesthetics’ sake (which I would first and foremost consider), but also for Wanda to have a bigger space where he can move freely, gulp air and spit out bubbles.

Wanda, by the way, is a male Betta, popularly known as Siamese fighting fish. Betta fishes are members of the “gourami” family and keeping them as pets are rather inexpensive particularly when you want to explore the aquatic species ownership realm. They are capable of living in smaller containers than most aquarium fishes, without the filters and aerators that other aquarium fishes require. They are called “Betta” because their genus is derived from ikan bettah, taken from a local dialect of Thailand. In the wild, they proliferate rice paddies, shallow ponds, and even slow moving streams. [ii]

In popular culture, the Siamese fighting fish has been used as the default background in the first official beta version of the Windows 7 operating system, in an apparent reference to the name “betta”. In the movie From Russia with Love, the James Bond villain Blofeld compared the strategy of SPECTRE to three Siamese fighting fish fighting each other. There, two will fight each other to the death while the third will wait its turn, symbolizing the conflict between the USA and the Soviet Union as the two fighting fishes and SPECTRE as the third waiting fish.

One of the interesting behaviour of this genus is its aggressiveness. The aggression of Bettas has been a subject of interest by ethologists (naturalists who study animal behavioural patterns) and comparative psychologists. According to studies, Bettas will respond aggressively, even to their own reflections in a mirror. Like other fishes, Bettas may also respond to the presence of humans and become trained to respond to feeding cues (such as a hand placed over the water’s surface). They are quite curious and will watch humans going about their business nearby. But they should remain isolated when kept as pets because most people would claim that it is not ideal for them mingle with other genus of fishes because they are born “to attack and kill”. In order to prove to myself that Wanda is indeed very aggressive, there are occasions where I would point my red signature pen just before him and he immediately “flares up”, puffing out his gills in order to appear more impressive, intimidating me, his adversary. For the past six months, Wanda has been living in his solitary world, waiting for his daily shrimp meal, and effortlessly spitting bubbles that form a slimy nest.

Few weeks ago, Fr. Titus and I wanted to do an experiment. We wanted Wanda to join other fishes in the large aquarium in order to check if he is really genetically designed for attacking and killing his opponents. I was hesitant at first because I was too afraid Wanda might really show aggression and take the life of one of the gullible fishes bought by Fr. Andy. But after much prodding, I agreed to the suggestion and told Fr. Titus: “Sige lang a. Kung may patyon gid man ang Fighting Fish ko, ako lang ang mapa-akig kay Fr. Andy!” (Of course, I don’t want Fr. Andy to get angry…I mean, who wants to? hehehe) When I placed Wanda inside the aquarium, instead of bullying or pouncing on helpless carp, swordtail, freshwater angel fish, black moor, and gold fish, he went away recklessly, looking for burrows where he hid himself. I had mixed emotions upon seeing Wanda struggling inside the large aquarium: I was sad because the scenario definitely curbed my enthusiasm because I was expecting him to be belligerent, but at the same time, I was also happy because Wanda wasn’t that bad or cruel after all. He was rather aloof and withdrawn. My preconceived ideas about this genus of fish were rather silly. He was not comfortable with his new world because he has learned to live his life in solitary confinement, delimited by impressions that he is indeed destined to attack and kill.Poor Wanda, it was too late for him to be given the chance to prove himself and eventually socialize with other fishes in the aquarium.

Looking back, I believe that there are also people who live their lives in solitary confinement like my pet, Wanda, not because it is their personal choice, but it is humanity that dictates them to pull themselves out of the social sphere. They are individuals who hunger for love and acceptance, but then they were overshadowed by prejudice, inequality, bigotry, apathy and discrimination. Like my poor fish who cramped himself in his lonely, tubular world, these people would also crave for freedom and understanding, longing for the day that they will also be given the chance to prove their inherent goodness.

God made all things bright and beautiful. He did not create monsters.

“Prejudices are the chains forged by ignorance to keep men apart.” (Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington quotes)

34th Heartbeat

“SENTI…”

Allow me to be sentimental this time.

It was the annual celebration of a baranggay fiesta. Rain poured out so hard that the spectators barged into the covered nooks of the basketball court that was worn out by the waves of time and the harsh weather conditions. Five elderly men came up the stage, bringing their respective musical instruments that were refurbished by plasters and snippets of wood. All of them sat by the mono block chairs as they waved their hands to their enthusiastic fans, as if they were having a gig in a huge arena. The two were tweaking the pitch of their guitars by plucking the strings intermittently; one was positioning the chin rest of his odd-shaped violin to his neck as he touched a chord with his bow; the other one was holding a ukulele whose sharp sound contributed to the outwardly cheerful disposition of the crowd. When they started playing, everyone was attentive because they wouldn’t want to miss any single note that delighted their audible range. Despite the downpour, the world stopped. I sat by the stilted bench as I listened to them, stunned at what I became aware of. The songs were rather unfamiliar but the melody speaks so much of one word that satisfied my persistent longing: HOME.

It’s nice to be back in Calmay, Janiuay after eight months of not wandering through the off the beaten track in order to reach the place I called home for one month and five days. In my musing, it was hard to figure out what particular episode in my stint as a deacon assigned to this small baranggay parish that truly mesmerized me. In my limited capacity to unravel the mysterious, I only reasoned out that maybe, it was the serenity of the place or the warm reception of the people that really captured my heart. Yet, behind all these things, I would still show discontent for there must be an unexplainable force that compelled me to exhaust all of my memories as I introduced myself to new acquaintances and consigned myself to the pristine corners of the surreal landscapes.

Calmay must be enchanted, captivating my jaded and weary soul.

According to stories, even soldiers who temporarily resided in this place share the same sentiment as mine. They found it hard to depart from this thriving community after they have served their purpose for several months. At times, I’d like to think that the place has a surreptitious and magical lure that kept people wanting for more, giving them so much sadness if ever they decide to leave. Calmay may not provide the best of what urbanity and modernization have to offer, but its laid back environment can be a solitary refuge from the hustle and bustle of this fast changing world. One maybe deprived of seeing how life normally evolves through progress, but the purity and the calmness of the area will help him discover so many profound truths about his entirety as a person. This is no tourist spot because the natural wonders were devastated by the typhoon, but the familiarity of interacting with the locals and that once in a lifetime chance of serving them for various purposes are the best experiences one could ever have. It made me realize over and over again that it is meaning, not happiness that will put essence in a man’s life, and this essence is usually unfolded in its simplicity.

Like the poignant melody being played by the elderly musicians before the eager crowd, my memories of Calmay will forever be inscribed into the very core of my being, giving me with bittersweet thoughts about losing and finding my way back home.

“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, and voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when” (Starhawk)

The Homily Inspired By “Careless Whisper”

Prolegomenon: While working on my Homily about Pornography and Sex Scandals last Thursday evening, My Yahoo Launch Cast played “Careless Whisper” by Wham…What a coincidence! Wahahahaha! (”,)

Homily
Novena Mass for Our Lady of Mount Carmel
July 10, 2009

Good morning brothers and sisters in Christ!

How do you define a scandal?

If we go back to its etymology, scandal came from the Greek word, “skandalon” meaning “stumbling block” which originated from a trap with a springing device, like those being used in order to get rid of nasty rats and mice that pester one’s household. In the course of time, this word underwent a series of drastic change wherein the supposedly functional connotation turned out to be “a discredit caused by irreligious conduct” or a “ground for offense or temptation”. What seemed to be a modest term became a principle of cause and effect due to one’s immorality. Now, the word scandal can be understood as a “malicious gossip”, a sense of person whose conduct is a disgrace, or a sense of shock by doing something improper.

Lately, the word scandal has become synonymous to an unlikely nuance. Despite its negative undertone, the term assumed a “glorified” reputation because it has greatly involved the masses. Whenever you hear the word “scandal” nowadays, it is no longer associated with shame or disgrace, for it has become a generic trade name for those digital video discs being sold along street corners, with peddlers greeting the passer bys in a seemingly polite and courteous manner, but later on would entice them to get inside their respective booths because they have a wide collection of x-rated, porno flicks and of course, the infamous scandal videos.

Allow me to share to you my personal experience.

When I was still a seminarian, I happened to pass by an isolated street of Iloilo City. As I hurriedly crossed the pedestrian lane in order to catch up with my sister’s lunch break, a man with a long beard, probably in his late forties approached and asked me whether I am interested to buy his DVDs. I told him that I was in a hurry during that time, but he insisted that I should take a peek, as he showed me the contents of his large plastic bag. He told me in a very convincing voice, “Hindi ka anay bala maglakat ‘to kay wala mo pa gani makita ang collection ko. May mga DVD ako diri nga x-rated basi gusto mo magbakal, ari ho, damo ako sang mga scandal!” (In Tagalog: “Huwag ka munang umalis Totoy, kasi hindi mo pa nakikita yung collection ko. May mga DVD akong X-rated baka gusto mong bumili, eto o, marami akong scandal!”) To be honest, there was a struggle in my part, whether I should stay and look at his wide collection of porno flicks out of curiosity or to turn my back at him and walk away out of self-respect. Nevertheless, the circumstance impelled me to ignore him for the fear that my sister would leave me if I don’t reach her office on time. I had to say “Sa sunod na lang Nong kay nagadali gid ako!” (In Tagalog: “Sa susunod na lang po Kuya, nagmamadali po talaga ako!”) leaving him dazed and confused because I did not actually give a concrete response to his invitation. It was not clear though on his part whether I said an absolute “no” as my blatant refusal for his offer or I was just delaying my own gratification, saving my intent for our next meeting, well, probably, at the same street and at the same time soon. Pero mayo lang kay sa kaluoy sang Dios, wala ko na siya makita liwat kay basi may posibilidad nga nakabakal gid man ako (In Tagalog: Buti na lang at sa awa ng Dios, hindi ko na siya nakita ulit nung dumaan ako sa eskinitang iyon dahil baka bumili na ako) given the chance that we crossed paths again. Looking back at my experience, I figured out that pornography has become a commodity for it has been a part of commerce and trade, beguiling one’s senses through sensuality and perversion. Producing and selling a porn flick or a sex scandal video to unsuspecting individuals are eventually teaching them how to patronize a culture of distortion, and in this trade, there will always be an oppressor and the oppressed, a victimizer and the victimized. Pornography is creating a mindset to humankind that sex is not sacred, but just for fun, for play, for physical release, for showing off, or for any of a host of other human emotions and expressions that are often attached to sexuality.

Perhaps, to some of us who are present here, the Hayden Kho- Katrina Halili Sex Scandal is not yet buried from our consciousness and deliberation because until now, it is still a subject of discussions and arguments, exhausting our comprehension and logic on who is really telling the truth, or who is really the victim of this brouhaha. In fact, the issue has created a cult following among Filipinos, putting malice to every object (bandana, black and blue underwear, “Careless Whisper”?) that reminded them of that ill-famed video scene where two individuals perversely danced their night away to that sexually stimulating saxophone intro of the song that brought them into the scarlet oblivion. Pardon me for my exaggerated imagery but I’m trying my very best not to be vulgar while articulating what actually happened according to reports seen on the television, heard on the radio, and published in newspapers. Regardless of who is really innocent and who deserves to be acquitted among protagonists turning defendants, this issue that was sensationalized by media is just a part and parcel of the whole system of Pornography and we know for sure that dealing with a systemic problem is a formidable task.

According to the recent world statistics, (I only got the 2006 census, my figures stand corrected) around $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography, from 28,258 Internet users who are viewing pornographic videos and from 372 Internet users who are typing adult terms and sites into search engines every second. In United States alone, a new pornographic video is being created in 39 seconds, making them as the number one porn video producers. Thus, in a document issued by U.S. Bishops, they attributed this growing industry to a misguided permissiveness based on the premises of artistic license and free speech that uses the various media more to exploit and degrade human sensitivities than to uplift them. They go on to say that Pornography, the use of visual or print media to present nudity and sexual activity in a degrading and depersonalizing way, often preys upon the most vulnerable in our society. Women, children and men all too often are portrayed as objects of disposal of the sexual lust or violent actions of others. Children, too can find ready access to materials that may warp their view of men and women, of sexuality, and of the mutual love and responsibility that rightly ought to accompany sexual intimacy. The bishops conclude by urging all those engaged “in making or transmitting products of communications to accept their access to the airwaves and to the public as societal trust” so that their art or craft will not be motivated by the profit motive alone or by the principle of supply and demand. At the same time, the bishops have reminded that the consumers should have special duties in discerning the selection of media for themselves and for those entrusted to them.

Now we ask ourselves, what is the connection of Pornography to our theme: Mary and the Filipino Woman, Hope of the Filipino Nation? I believe that it has something to do with our relationship with Mary and our relationship with the women in our lives, say our mothers, our sisters, and for those who are married, your wives and your daughters. This relationship should have a solid foundation in trust, deference and respect. In a culture where men tend to have more power than women and women are more vulnerable than men, great care will be needed to provide an adequate context for the expression of sexuality. We have been told that one of the most celebrated virtues of Mary is her purity. She had lived a chaste life without jeopardizing her role as a caring mother to Jesus Christ and a faithful wife to Saint Joseph. This virtue should also be imitated by a typical modern Filipina in her quest of finding meaning and relevance in this seemingly changing world. Professor Mark Lowery, Ph.D., an associate professor of Theology at the University of Dallas, made a compelling remark about purity in an article that he wrote. He said that our Catechism notes that the pure of heart are those who ‘have attuned their intellects and will to the demands of God’s holiness, chiefly in three areas: charity, chastity or sexual rectitude, love of truth and orthodoxy of faith’ (2518). We most often think of purity as connected to the area of sexuality, and rightly so; sexuality is so central to our humanity that impurity in that area is not uncommon. Hence, the Catechism mentions it specifically as the second of the three key areas of purity. But note that the first area is ‘charity,’ and this area is far-reaching. Charity here refers to God’s love poured into our hearts by which we are capable of loving ourselves and loving others. Loving ourselves means being concerned about our final beatific end, and ordering our lives in light of that end. Loving our neighbors as ourselves means being as concerned about the rest of the community reaching their final goal as we are about ourselves reaching it. Hence, charity is all-encompassing, and as the first of three areas to which the virtue of purity is pertinent, it suggests that a pure heart must accompany all our actions. Purity concerns not only unchaste sexual thoughts but thoughts of envy, greed, covetousness, pride, and so on. Such thoughts compete with God for our loyalty, and hence we need to be vigilant over them lest they gradually possess us, taking priority over God.” These things were undoubtedly seen in the Blessed Mother because her purity meant that everything about her was filled with divine grace. She had this beatific vision of God because she already saw him and believed while she was here on earth, in the person of her beloved Son, Jesus Christ. The Ever-Virgin Mary was and remains pure in charity, chastity and love of truth and orthodoxy of faith. And that purity is “divine” because it is inspired by God, imitates His purity and leads to Him.

Therefore, as we combat Prostitution with our entire will and determination, we have to bear in mind that it is not just an issue of sexuality or continence of the flesh, but of charity, kindness and compassion to the human person. Ano ayhan ang pamatyag nyo kung sa sining mga scandal nga ginabaligya kag ginatan-aw sang kadam-an, matalupangdan ninyo nga kabahin gali ang inyo bata, utod, ukon paryente? (In Tagalog: “Ano kaya ang mararamdaman ninyo kung sa mga scandal na nabibili at napapanood ng karamihan ay kasama pala ang inyong anak, kapatid o kamag-anak?”) The more we keep ourselves away from its preying hands, the more we gain charity in the giving of ourselves. The more we show respect in dealing with our brothers and sisters, the more we profess love for truth and loyalty to faith. As we continue with our celebration, may the spotlessness of Mary’s heart inspire us to abandon ourselves to God as she did, as we open ourselves to fresh opportunities of achieving the purity of body, mind and heart as we respond to the various signs of the times. Let us all stand.

i Quoted from Lebacqz
ii Quoted from Monsignor Charles M. Mangan of Catholic Online

33rd Heartbeat

FROM NOBODY TO SOMEBODY

This week, the Gospel readings made me reflect on the twelve disciples. It’s hilarious to think about the way they were chosen because it turned out to be an underdog story. Out of nowhere, Jesus randomly selected these guys where in my own understanding would create an impression that he has done it haphazardly because they seemed to be awfully ordinary. They have no wealth to spend in their various ministries, no academic background that will make them competent and believable in preaching, no impressive resume to present and boast to every prominent individuals they will meet along the journey, and no considerable position in the society where they could somehow gain respect from people.They are nothing but a bunch of losers who cannot even have the grip out of their own lives and following Jesus would be a lame excuse for some of them in trying to redeem themselves from the troubles that they have created prior in becoming a disciple. Out of their ordinariness, they were an peculiar mixture: a Publican known for his corrupt manner of collecting taxes (Matthew), a Zealot, who has an unbreakable keenness to liberty (Simon), a Seeker who wanted to make sense of his own life (Andrew), a Doubter who keeps on asking questions and who swears that he will only believe if he “sees” it (Thomas), an Impulsive Individual who easily jumps into things without considering the consequences (Peter) , the elder “Boanerges” (sons of thunder) known for his “hot headedness” and “stormy personality” (James), the younger “Boanerges” (sons of thunder) known for his closeness and reliance to his Teacher (John), , the two best of friends, one of which is a fishermanwho is in quest of the Messiah (Philip)and who later on invited his friend that seemed to have an inordinate attachment to the fig tree (Nathanael or Bartholomew), and the two little known disciples whose names only appeared in the pages of the Gospel, who remained in anonymity simply because they didn’t stand out at all (James, Son of Alphaeus and Thaddeus), and of course,the “Traitor” (we have to include Judas Iscariot in due respect for his being an “original” member of the twelve until he screwed up) who sold his Teacher for thirty pieces of silver, and was later on replaced by another average guy because there is a need to fill up the empty slot (Matthias).

Nevertheless, Jesus chose them, because he was not looking for somebody exceptional, but he was after self-effacing men who can do things extraordinarily well. Jesus chose these twelve not for what they were in the past but for what they are capable of doing at the moment and their eventual transformation under his influence and guidance. These men were selected in order to be with him, to be his disciples, to be his learners, and to be his friends, to be “Alter-Christus”. This can only be made possible if they mature in their relationship and intimacy with Jesus Christ.They have to do his work in the world; they must live in his presence before they are being sent out. They must go from the company of Christ to the company of men. Later on, they received power and authority to continue the mission of Jesus Christ: to heal the sick, raise the dead, to cleanse the impure, and to drive out demons. They too have this extraordinary ministry of bringing life, healing and forgiveness to men and women from all walks of life.

The choosing of the twelve reminded me of the story of the pig. A pig has been infamous for its repugnance to personal hygiene even if it is still considered the best tasting delicacy, gracing every festivity with its succulent meat (not minding the cholesterol as long as the pig satisfy one’s craving). One particular behaviour of this animal that really caught my attention is its penchant to something dirty or filthy. A pig, after it has been washed, cleaned and tidied up wallows itself again in the mud. I know it is just typical for most, but in my reflection, this analogy best describes the nature of those who decided to follow Christ.

I received a text message from a friend years ago which I rephrased. It’s actually a confrontation between the chicken and the cow. They were arguing about the pain they have to endure just to provide sustenance for every family food table. The chicken told the cow that she has to lay eggs agonizingly just to come up with a plain sunny side up for breakfast. The cow argued back that she has to eat heaps of green, bitter herbs and endure the seemingly endless squeezing just to come up with an ounce of milk. The pig, in order to appease the two, told them that she has nothing to offer except her life just to provide meat to mankind. The two were stunned. End of the story.

It is funny how this animal who wallows himself unceasingly in the mud will eventually make the ultimate sacrifice. I think this was the reality of every disciple called by Jesus to follow him because no matter how sinful they were in the past, at the end of it all, they still made an earnest and decisive surrender — they offered not just one aspect of their entirety as human persons but they offered their whole life, given all their capacities and limitedness.

It was a journey from nobody to somebody.

Now, I stared at the mirror, asking myself this recurring question: “Why am I called for in this life?”

“God’s decisions are always mysterious, but they are always on our favor…” (Paulo Coleho)

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32nd Heartbeat

RANDOM THOUGHTS part two

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” (Quoted from Albert Einstein,German born American Physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. 1879-1955)

ON SANITY

August 24, 2005. 2nd week of our Clinical Pastoral Education Program. I was assigned at the Psychiatric Ward of Philippine General Hospital. I met a lot of individuals suffering from schizophrenia (of various sorts), manic depression, grandiose delusion, borderline personality disorder, and the likes. I happened to attend their group therapy this morning and the nurse in charge was asking them what were the lessons they’ve learned from the session…most of their answers were far from reality until somebody raised his hand and blurted out: “Hindi po ako naniniwala na may taong sira ang ulo…pero naniniwala po ako na may mga taong nasira ang kanilang pagkatao” I was dumbfounded. The statement had a huge impact on me for it was rather profound. I never expected it from a person with mental retardation. There was a parcel of truth in what he said. In my own understanding of sanity, he has urged me to go beyond and perhaps, get in touch with my own madness as well. In a world of delusion and crazy making pleasures, who is considered sane and who is considered insane?

ON PRAYER AND SOLITUDE

An excerpt from the life of Siddharta Gautama: in the town of Bodh Gaya, Siddhartha decided that he would sit under a certain fig tree as long as it would take for the answers to the problem of suffering to come. He sat there for many days, first in deep concentration to clear his mind of all distractions, then in mindfulness meditation, opening himself up to the truth. He began, they say, to recall all his previous lives, and to see everything that was going on in the entire universe. On the full moon of May, with the rising of the morning star, Siddhartha finally understood the answer to the question of suffering and became the Buddha, which means “he who is awake…”

Detaching one’s self from the world does not necessarily mean isolation or lethargy. It is actually an attempt to rediscover the things that were lost in the journey because of being too naive or worldly wise. It is more of an opportunity to relive those moments that were left unnoticed because of the endless searching for that seemingly off the beaten path even if the passionate desire for meaning and significance is just “right there” behind one’s back. A juncture where a person realizes that despite his seclusion, he is not actually alone in the universe, but he is joined by a God who does not only speak through uttered words or written revelations, but can also be felt in prayer, in the silence and solitude of one’s heart. The hidden truths of life are gradually unfolded when an individual has the capacity to find his own sacred time and sacred nook.

ON LOVING AND LOSING

Somebody texted me this bittersweet thought about love:

“Many of us believe that love is forever…that love never dies…only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing…we mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled…but LOVE is only a GIFT given to us…we should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave…we should only embrace its warmth and glow while it lasts and then freely open our arms when it is time to say goodbye…”

Why do people fall out of love?

Some people think that love is an emotional calisthenics, an endless duel between lovers particularly on the predilection of who could give more or less affection that will eventually decide the fate of their relationship. Thus, it becomes a competition, a battlefield where the heart is chained in egocentricity because of one’s impulsive desire to make his significant other love him more than what he possibly can, and perhaps later on, inch his way radically to be at par with that capacity for loving, or worse, to surpass it, ending in a recurring manner of questioning one’s worth whenever love is measured in terms of its bulk or girth as if it is something that is being placed inside a weighing scale. To say that “I love him or her more than he or she loves me” is a baloney because it only caters the person’s self-interest, not on how love should reveal itself in all its purity and truthfulness. Real love is always understood in the perspective of freedom and altruism.

Love does not inhibit. It liberates…

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